Relationships: the catch 22

So a culmination of a multiple of things I've seen recently made me want to watch this post.

I'm watching K-pop star (more on my favorite people later) but one of the things Park Jin-Young (head of JYP Entertainment) said to one of the youngest auditionees the past two rounds was that because she was young and didn't have as many experiences (particularly relationship-wise) her singing wasn't emotional.

Despite the fact that I would counter that by saying you can use other experiences in your life, not only from romantic relationships to portray emotion in songs even about heartache, that's actually not the point of this post.

So where am I getting to?




After watching K-pop star, I also had the opportunity to watch Healing Camp with Lee Bo-Young (이보영). For those of you who don't know Lee Bo-Young is an actress, who recently married another actor Ji Sung (지성) in 2013. They met on the set of a drama, but didn't start dating until years later.

Fast forward a little bit, and she spoke about the time when it was revealed they were dating. And then for two years, she was unable to find work as an actress. Her previous image in dramas were the "innocent first love" and both producers and actors said they didn't want to work with her now that she had a boyfriend.

In addition, in the another Healing Camp episode with Girl's Generation (소녀시대 or SNSD), where as you may already know, 2 of the members revealed (or someone else revealed for them) that they are in a relationship. And how that impacted the entire group.

So what?

A couple of things I want to point out:

1. the difference between private and public revealed relationships.
   Among celebrities in Korea it's debated whether or not it's a good idea. Wanting to keep your private life separate from your celebrity life versus having to lie and say that you aren't dating someone, weighs heavily on their minds. (particularly when there are rumors swarming around about it) One of the SNSD members said that it wasn't intentional to reveal it, because of the impact that it would have on her fellow members and jokingly said she would answer questions that the MCs asked off the air. Also,  One of the more well-known "open" couples Simon and Jane later said they wished they never went public with their relationship after they broke up.
   At the same time, the other end of the debate is that you don't want to hide your relationship while cower when you are in public in case someone would see you and reveal it for you. So there is also the matter of doing it on your own terms v. forced to admitting you are in one after evidence tells the world so.
   
2. the impact on your work
   This is particularly an issue for actresses and girl groups. Because the expectation is that you are innocent, and you don't date people, which presents a problem in your personal life. Additionally, female celebrities are more negatively impacted - whether or not it's a celebrity because that innocence is gone. As I mentioned previously, Lee Bo Young had trouble finding work for 2 years because her "image" changed. The repercussions appear to be bigger for females. Sooyoung recognizes some of the repercussions when she spoke on Healing Camp, saying that she was just getting her start in MC and acting, and didn't want adjectives associated with her name  (which I assume means, one of two SNSD members dating, or something similar). AND of course, I haven't even touched on the dating ban many idol groups (particularly females) face.
   
3. the marriage question
   The above point speaks particularly to those who are in the dating stage, because you are not "single" and dating your fans OR married and becoming a serious actress/older singer. And of course, this is a particular issue for girl groups, where it becomes difficult to remain an "idol" and keep your fan base after marriage. And now that Lee Bo Young is married, she gets a lot of questions about children. 

Wedding video for Lee Bo Young and Ji Sung

In sum: this is how it looks: 

You go from single (where people ask you why you aren't dating and asking you who your ideal type is) --> dating (where people ask you about dating life and when you are going to get married/if the person is marriage material) --> marriage (where people ask you how it is to be a married woman and what you cook for your husband and when you are going to have babies) --> children (where people ask (if you haven't already) going to retire and take care of your children or at least ask you about your children). 

Complicated right? I mean... where is the end to the questions? I get it, some questions are valid because you want to know your favorite actress or singer as more than just a celebrity or a stage person (particularly for actors, who play characters), but look at that progression... isn't it tiring to see. Imagine being that person who has to go through all of that.